Coming out of the Fog

For the past few months, I’ve been in a bit of a funk. I’ve still been able to get the things I need done, done. However, I haven’t had any mental space or energy to do anything else, even things I love to do.

I feel like I was continuously operating on a battery that was half full when fully charged. My thoughts were slower, and it was hard to find the motivation to do anything.

But slowly, slowly over the past week or so, the fog has been lifting.

Each day I do a little bit more. Doing more motivates me to keep going the next day and to keep getting better.

I’ve been painting again, writing again, and even keeping my flat cleaner.

It feels like I’m coming back into myself.

For the past few weeks, I was someone else entirely.

That version of me survived off ready meals instead of homemade bread and food made from scratch.

That version of me that let the dishes and the laundry pile up more than I should.

That version of me that spent waaaaay too much time watching TV and Youtube.

But she has left the building.

I am back.

Not fully.

It’s like I’m emerging from my shell but still haven’t stepped outside.

I’m trying to give myself grace and not push myself too much.

Just because I can do things again doesn’t mean I can do everything.

But I’m hoping to keep this energy up and build on it. I want the next week to be better than this one.

I want the next month to be better than this one.

I want this summer to be filled with beautiful things and productivity that helps me to finish the projects I’ve started and to have the space I need to keep creating.

I’m also trying to develop skills and finish projects so that I can move into the next phase of my life.

I have this hope that it will involve a physical move.

So my mantra of the moment is - to do the things that help me build a better life, keep the things that I would want to carry with me into the next dream-like phase of my life and discard all the rest, to do the things, but not all the things. Take space and time as needed, so I don’t back-slide into the fog.