Wherever You Go There You Are

Running away from trauma/mental health issues

I have met so many people who have moved to another country to escape something. Sometimes, they’re aware that that’s what they are doing. Other times, they are just focused on the dream of how different their life in a new country will be, not realising how desperately they’re trying to leave their old selves behind. But there is one major flaw in running away this way -

Wherever you go, there you are.

You’re not going to wake up a different person in a new country.

You won’t suddenly become an extrovert with a bustling social calendar.

You won’t suddenly have extra energy after school or work to write a novel or take up a side hustle.

Depression will follow you.

Anxiety will follow you.

You will still be you.

Just in a new location.

Worse, your support system will be gone. All your friends, family, and mental health professionals will all be back in another time zone.

Change - real change - takes work and time.

Even though most people know this, they have dreams of what they want their lives to be and moving to a new country feels like the start of that dream life. But these lofty dreams crumble against reality and make any homesickness or culture shock worse.

But knowing that the change will still take conscious effort can free you from this trap.

Because major life events - like moving country - can make new habits or other major life changes easier. It’s not just me saying this; it’s been studied. Things like moving, starting a new job, or the like are great opportunities to make other changes that you’ve wanted and have them solidify into actual changes rather than a fleeting moment.

Do you want to be more active? - Take walks around your new city and get to know the place you live while also being more active.

Want to eat more healthfully? - Get to know the local foods and try new recipes in your new home. Grocery stores and the food they have are dramatically different from country to country. You will feel more at home in your new country.

Do you want to speak a new language? - Go out and speak with new people, and take classes for people who have immigrated. Immerse yourself.

Do you want to sit in coffee shops and write the next great novel? - Pick a day once a week when you go to a coffee shop and write. Use it as an excuse to try all the coffee shops in your area.

Do you want to be someone who goes to museums? - Schedule that in, and again, use it as a way to get to know your new home.

Want to be more social? - Join meet-ups and actually go. Take classes in your area (outside of any university courses that might be the reason you were able to move abroad). Research your hobbies and see if there are any events around them in your new location.

New beginnings make everything seem possible - harvest that to make dreams into reality. Will you have a meet-cute and storybook romance with a sexy someone who has a foreign accent? Possible, but unlikely. Will you be happier in your new home and really feel like you live in your new location? Most definitely.

If you take the time and put in the effort, you can have a life that’s better than what you’re leaving behind. You can be transformed by your new country and the experience you have in it.

By working on yourself and your dreams, you’re much more likely to find the happiness you’re seeking.

Wherever you go, there you are.

So make yourself someone you want to be with.

And enjoy learning about a new culture, exploring a new city, learning new things, and truly living in your new home.